SnowBoarders Are VULNERABLE

Recently, there was a tragic accident in Wyoming involving a snowboarder creaming a Mom and her 5-yr-old daughter---two died.  While there was probably some Terrain-Park Mentality going on, without independent-leg-action or poles, SnowBoarders do not have the same control as skiers either.  This also makes snowboarders vulnerable out-of-bounds, around tree-wells or in avalanches---it is not uncommon to hear about missing snowboarders nowadays.  Skiers with poles and independent feet can get around and even climb when they want to; they can get themselves out of tree-wells before they suffocate upside-down; but a snowboard on or off the feet is like a turtle upside down if the slope isn't just right.  When snowboarders resort to snow-shoes or split-boards and pole to get around in the Back-Country, it's important to note that they are then more in skier-mode rather than snowboard mode; . . . but snowboard mode is always a lot less safe and makes them vulnerable.

A CHAIR RIDE Before Christmas

'Twas a chair ride before Christmas, when down from a cloud,
Big snow-flakes came falling, and branches were bowed.
My long boards were waxed by the mantle with care,
In hopes that deep powder soon would be here;
The ski-bums were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of face-shots danced in their heads;
And I, in my ski-boots, for a novel nightcap,
Had just settled too, for a long winter's nap. 
. . . When, deep in a dream, there arose such a virgin,
I mounted a chair-lift, to satisfy my urgin': 
Way up on the mount, I rose like an eagle,
Through the forest so white, 'cause of snow, oh, so regal;
When, what to my widening eyes should appear?--
--But a wide open bowl, and-- . . . I emoted a tear. 
. . . Soon there I found myself reaching the summit,
With goggles and snorkel all set now to plummet;
Adrenalin flowing as I jumped off the cornice,
I knew that, with Heaven, this must be the nexus;
And, boy, let me tell you, in this powder-filled bowl,
I knew, in a pole-plant, . . . I had just found my soul. . . . 
But, during these first turns, though I had not a care,
The snow here got so deep! I got gasping for air!
For, when you've found new love in blazing that cold smoke,
You get gasping so hard, it can make a man so choke. 
--More rapid than reindeer, on long boards I came--
As I rode them I shouted and called them by name:
"Now, Fischer! Now, Volkl! Now, Spalding! and Hanson!
On, Rossi! On K2! On, Hart Ski! and Olin! 
To the top of the lift!  To the top of it all! 
Now, Ski Away! Ski Away! Ski Away, All!
. . . Too soon there, I found myself reaching the bottom,
Where I met with the lift-man, whose job is to load 'em:
As I took off my pole-straps and was turning around,
I got a nod from the lift-man, as he made not a sound;
I too spoke not a word, with my head gave a quirk,
And was then on his chair as I sat with a jerk--
But I heard him exclaim . . . as I rose out of sight:
"Happy Skiing, To All! . . . And, To All, . . . A Good Chair Ride!"

SnowBoarding's Less INTERESTING

On a snowboard, there is only so much to talk about and explore. But, on a pair of skis, you have a wide variety of interesting things you can do with your independent legs. And ski poles have several different modes of purpose. Further, snowboarding is a paradox on the bunny-hill: there is nothing harder for a snowboarder to deal with than totally flat terrain, either trying to move or just trying to get up--so beginning snowboarders have a handicap from the get-go. Snowboarders need things just right all the time, not-too-flat and not-too-steep, hence expensive Terrain Parks to accommodate them. Skiers can enjoy it all without having a bunch of self-imposed special needs.

Race COACHES Ain't INSTRUCTORS

Ski-Racing Coaches should not be confused with Ski Instructors, and vice-versa. Whereas a good ski instructor tries to help all skiers improve at their own level, race coaches tend to only deal with skiers who are expert already. A race coach may break a lot of bones and blow out a lot of knees in pursuit of that one World Champion; but a good instructor may only have a few minor injuries per thousands of students. The Racing World can be brutal and cruel to almost everyone involved, but regular Ski School should not have that same Militaristic Atmosphere. When Ski Schools subject their students to Ski-Racing, it should always be on the easiest, most-fun type race course, like Giant-Slalom on low-intermediate hard-pack--anything else would probably be harrassment.

Beginning SNOWBOARDERS Versus SKIERS

When people try SnowBoarding their first time, a high percentage fail for many simple reasons. People who take to snowboarding tend to be skateboarders, surfers, and people who already ski. The innocent people who don't have a head-start often get traumatized that first day even in a formal lesson--they become afraid of the slope-n-snow and the lifts and everything associated with skiing. Then, because of Satisfaction Guaranteed, they try skiing on day-two, but below ground zero. PSIA gods don't see this FUBAR, and they don't care, because they aren't the ones dealing with beginners. But astute instructors notice, when a beginning skier trembles needlessly before the lesson even starts, chances are they were in a very brutal snowboard lesson the day before.

SnowBoarding's TIPPING POINT

When snowboarding came along in the '80s, it got its foot in the door by barely getting on the chair-lifts. Then the Rental Shops noticed, "If we rent out a board instead of skis, we won't have to mess with ski poles or binding settings!"--so lazy rental employees were instrumental in pointing newcomers toward a snowboard instead of a pair of skis. And the infiltration of dysfunctional snowboarding closely paralleled the passage of the American Disabilities Act. Shackled snowboarders played the handicapped card and won. The funny thing is, snowboarders are not handicapped . . . until they shackle that board to their feet. Fact is: SnowBoarding is a SOCIAL EPIDEMIC, and many skiers would not be caught dead on one--but it is not Politically Correct to admit it.

Not Being SHACKLED Is Nice

Independent-leg action is nice. SHACKLED SnowBoarders give up this functional luxury. This is why skiing's been around thousands of years, and SnowBoarding will be a flash in the pan. Still, PSIA-type instructors insist on making skiing more difficult than it is: When the equipment got easier to carve with, they decided to make some of the "New Techniques" triple difficult, like skiing more on your inside ski than is natural. Even though equipment is easier, great instructors and skiers still see it as the same sport it has always been, requiring the same necessary skills.